Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Childhood Not-so-good Memory

Lately, there have been some cases of students bullying in Jakarta. The first one involved an autism university student, while the second one involved a year 6 female students.

I didn't watch the videos, I only read the news and saw some photos. And also of course, the comments made by my old school friends who mostly are parents now. They all commented how they so want to slap those bullies and wish them to have even worse autism kids in the future as their karma. After reading those comments, what came in my mind was, "Didn't you guys kinda do that too back in primary school?".

Back when we were in primary school, every year probably just before Easter and Christmas, the school would arrange some charity collection from the students. Each of us was given an envelope to put money in, and on the front of the envelope, we were supposed to put our name, date and how much we were giving out. I think the idea was to spare some of our pocket money to give for charity.

My mum was pretty stingy in regards to pocket money when we were small. Unlike other kids who got daily pocket money of Rp. 500 a day, I only got Rp 500 for a week. However, if I brought food every day to school, and if there is anything I need e.g. pens, books, or any school little fees here and there, I just had to ask for it and I would get them. Comics and magazines were the same, I just had to say I wanted to buy Bobo magazine, and mum would either go buy it for me, or give me the money. Exact money.

So, getting real cash was hard for me. I remembered I used to steal some coins off my dad's store desk, so I could buy some snacks at school canteens after my friend told me off for always eating her snacks. Now that I think about it, I've always loved snacks, haven't I?

There was once, my school pick up uncle didn't know I came to school that day, so he left without me. I finished my class around 10 that day. My sisters however were in kindergarten and would finish at 12ish. That uncle would pick them up. So, being a smart kid with absolutely 0 money in her pocket, I thought I could just wait for them to go home.

So, I hung around the school. My teacher then saw me and surprised I was still there, she asked me what was I doing. I told her what happened, and she asked if I had eaten anything. I hadn't. Knowing my mum, she might have packed me some biscuits or bread which I should have eaten early in the morning. My teacher asked if I had any money. Nope. Not a cent. She then gave me Rp 500 so I could buy some food. I still remember, receiving that green paper money with the monkey on it was like receiving a stack of money. I was thinking, "wow... I could buy a lot of snacks with this... " really, it wasn't that much. It's just I've never received that much money for pocket money for a day. My pocket money back then was only Rp 200-300 a WEEK. I bought a Chitato chips packet with that money and got Rp 100 change. It's really only worth $2 now, you can only get a pack of small twisties with that money.

Anyhow, back to topic. Now that you know how hard it was to get cash, I could only ask mum for the collection. In year 3, my pocket money would be at most Rp 500 a week. I used to have to save for weeks to buy small inflatable doll for my sisters' bday from the old man in front of my school and bargained with the him to reduce it from rp 2000 to 1500, even had to keep checking for weeks, hoping it didn't get sold. Another thing was, my mum was stingy in regards to this kind of charity too.. She's quick to help people who need money that we know, but for organisational charities, she really wasn't into it.

So yeah... My mum only gave me Rp 200 a week for this charity. Her idea was, since it ran for 5 week, so we donated Rp 1000 in total. I guess she thought, for a kid Rp 1000 is a lot already.

It was okay, until my friends started looking around everybody's envelopes. Most kids gave Rp 500 a week, then they saw mine was Rp 200 a week. Then they started teasing me. Saying things like I was so stingy. At the beginning it was clearly just teasing, mucking around, but then it went on and on to the point that included pushing and shoving. There were quite a few of them, I could only remember 2 people for sure, 1 was my best friend that year, the other one was the boy I had been friends with since kindergarten.

It wasn't scary, but it was so embarrassing. I knew they were joking to begin with, but it went on and on and got physical. Finally I got so upset and couldn't take it anymore. I cried and ran off to the toilet.

My best friend at the time (who was also involved), yuan, chased me to the toilet. She said sorry and that they were all just joking. I'm pretty sure it was only her who came to find me. Especially since 15 min break was over.

Because of that, the next time we had this kind of collection, I saved my weekly pocket money. When my mum gave me Rp 200 for collection, I asked her if I could give some of my saved pocket money to make it Rp 500. I didn't tell her why, but I think she kinda guessed I was embarrassed. Later on, she started giving me Rp 500 for each week collection.

To those friends from my childhood, that extra Rp 300 was more than half of my weekly allowances, you know! For you it might be easy to spare 100 a day, but it took more than half of my weekly! Damn youuuu! You didn't know the story and just made fun of me! Where's that f*** u emoji???

It's just funny seeing them who are now parents making comments about bullying. I'm pretty sure they did some during their childhood though not to that extent. Good thing they turn out to be good, but you know.

When you are unlucky, then you are unlucky for the day. On next lesson after I came back from the toilet, my teacher - a killer one- started telling us to do some exercise from our textbook. I was still thinking about the previous incident and tried to distract my self.

Those days, she's been asking us to do exercises on a blank test paper, instead of exercise book. Those blank test paper had school logo etc and a book of that was quite expensive! You use 1 side on average and then that's it! What a waste of paper and money.

So, when I heard about doing exercise, in my mind was, "Ughhh she's going to ask to do it on test paper again. What a waste!". And I sighed. It wasn't loud, but she was just like a desk away from me. She flipped.

She scolded me for sighing. Saying that lately she's heard me sighing a couple of times already. "Do you not like having me as your teacher?? If you don't like it, you don't need to attend my class!". I tried to explain, but she didn't let me, and kicked me out to stand outside -_-"

See? Udah jatuh, tertimpa tangga. Naseb...

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