Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Picture Perfect

Last night I was flicking through the channels and came across this TV show on SBS (PS: I probably only watch SBS like few times a year. It's a pretty boring channel to me). Anyway, what caught my interest was, I was 98% sure the girl who was talking was an Indo, AND she was talking about her flat nose. I was so sure then she was Indo. Later on they showed her name, and yep, Indo 😆

Anyway, she was saying how everybody was always commenting about her flat nose and they started to touch her nose a lot. Then, her mum started pinning a clothes peg on her nose everyday after school in an attempt to lengthen it.

I can't remember what the host asked her after, but she replied, saying that beauty in Indonesia is related to financial security. There's this perception that if you're pretty, then you will have good financial in the future. I. E. Marrying a rich guy. She said, even her mum was telling her when she was in school, "You have to do well in your studies, because... You know.... ". Which she responded, "Yes, mum, I know. I won't be marrying a rich guy". And her mum would be, "Yeah... He he he... "

The show was called Insight, and the topic was Picture Perfect. It was pretty much talking about plastic cosmetic surgery to young people. It's an Australian show and the audience were a mixed of races of young people, both females and males who live in Australia. What made them do it, and would there be anything that could prevent them to do it?

This girl hasn't had any cosmetic surgery, but she believes that if she had one to lengthen her nose, then she would be very happy. She said, once she went to South Korea, and a random girl said to her, "I think you need a plastic surgery". She took out her tablet, took her photo and asked which part she wanted changed if she had surgery, and she said nose. Then the girl cut a nose out of her favorite actress and put it on her photo to replace her nose. She said it looked weird, but she was happy and excited about it.

The host then asked her, would there be anything that can make you change your mind about how you look? To not considering plastic surgery? Her answer made me laugh, but also made me wince. Her answer was, "Yeah.. If I don't go back to my home country. If I just stay here".

She said that everytime she went back to Indonesia, their first comments would be, "You're getting fat! " or "You're getting uglier! ". They didn't ask her how she was going or how was her study, they commented on her look or body.

When I heard that, I was laughing. I wasn't laughing at her, but because I was happy that it isn't only me who receives those comments when I go home. I still remember the first comment my 11 years old cousin said to me when I first saw her last time I went back home, I was in a formal dress about to attend a wedding reception all dressed up and with make up on, she said, "Big sister, your tummy is so big!" -___-" really? You haven't seen me in a year and that's your first greeting to me? And I remember my trip to Bali with the whole family, and there was once in the car ride that my uncle said to me repeatedly that I was fat. FYI, I wore size 8 or 10 back then. For sure I wasn't skinny, but I wasn't fat. For the whole ride, I was thinking of ways to change to my other uncle's car (and whatsapping my oz colleagues about it. To which she horrifyingly replied "YOU ARE NOT FAT!!!!" The good thing is, living in Sydney makes my skin color go fairer. So most of the time I was complimented on my skin color.

But yeah, if an 11 years old girl could comment on my tummy the first time we met after a year, no wonder the adults can say negative comments about how people look without batting an eyelash. If their comment is legit, I. E. The person is really fat and needs to lose some weight then it's OK. It's good for them. But if they are just not crazily skinny or not crazily pretty, then don't say they're fat or ugly.

But all these do happen back home. And other countries of course. When I go home, on every first meetings with extended family, I'd be toughen up my heart and skin a bit and be worried about what they would comment on. Luckily, living in Australia does give me that "I don't give a damn" or "whatever" attitude. So even though I do get pissed off listening to those, it doesn't make me hate how I look. And plus, size 8 or 10 is really not fat man!!! 👊👊👊

Friday, September 9, 2016

Sacrifices and Taking Things for Granted

My dad is going back home this Saturday. I never have told my parents, but every time they are here, at the last week of the stay I try not to go out and have dinner at home.

I guess if I say it directly to them, they might feel happy. People are always happy when they know other people are making sacrifices for their sake or go out of their way for them.

It reminds me of few years ago when I had my bestie still in Australia. Back then I used to work on the weekends, so I couldn't hang out much. She was always out during weekends with friends. There were times when she went out without asking me to join because she thought I was working, or because she just didn't think of it, or simply because there was no more space in her flatmate's car. Sometimes she went to restaurants I had been craving to go too, and places I also wanted to go.

Every time that happened, I got upset and we had a fight or cold war (Thanks to Facebook, I got to know where she went all those time. Now that I think about it, some of those fights wouldn't have happened if Facebook didn't exist :/) She was stubborn and I was sensitive. The cycle went on and on, even until I quit my weekend job. I still am a sensitive person, but after the last few years I realise that nothing really last forever. So don't waste your time and energy to fight, they are going to leave soon anyway. It is not worth fighting for.

But back then, I wanted to make a point. I guess I wanted myself heard, that she knew that it was making me upset. I didn't want that one day she would say, "I didn't know you were upset. You should have said something". Well.. not that I could keep it to myself anyway, I am after all a very expressive person and can't hide my emotion at all. I guess, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't taken for granted.

Nobody likes to be taken for granted, right?