Wednesday, May 25, 2016

My Seriously Stupid Colleague

I've mention this stupid colleague of mine before, let's call him Dudul. Because of him I came up with this idea, that he doesn't have ANY right to be a smartass. In order to be a smartass, you need to be smart and an ass. He's an ass, but not smart. So therefore he doesn't have the right to act like a smartass.

He's complained about me twice already. He said I was rude to him. So instead of writing "Hi Dudul, You did notice the person who wrote that note was water tap, didn't you?" (which I did), I should have written, "Hi Dudul, How are you? You might not notice, but it was water tap who wrote that note, not me."

Funny that he didn't complain about me when I told him, "Sometimes you just have to use common sense" -> I was really subtle saying "You're so dumb! Use your brain, will you??". He only said, "But sometimes when I do use common sense, it's still not right!". That means your so called common sense is not the other people's common sense you dummy!!

The other day he put on a note on a task that I was working on. He said, "Don't work on this anymore guys, I checked, and it seems that it fixes itself". Upon reading that, I straight away thought, "There's no way it fixed itself! It's data issue, it won't fix itself!". So I ran my checks and I was right. The data was still wrong. He just didn't know what to check -_- then I replied, "Are you sure? Please check Amy Adams for 1 May and 3 May. It's still wrong". Later on he replied, "One team, one unit! We should always back each other up! Thank you Purple Lady, you're right it's still wrong". -_-!! The reason my alert was on was because it's YOU! Because it was him who said it was fixed! It's because he always, always, and always makes mistakes! So I don't trust anything he says be it "this page doesn't work" or "I've checked and it's correct".

Not long after that, he came when I was helping Little Missy debugging. While we were talking, he cut us out and asked if the data sent to us this morning has been summarized. First thing first, I definitely hate it when people cut me off and then say "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt". Once is still valid, but if it happens every.single.time. he comes? You definitely mean to interrupt. So don't you dare saying you didn't mean to! That's what Dudul does.

So, back to that data. We straight away checked, and even though I checked until 2 AM records, I couldn't find those files.

Then I asked, "What time did they come?" Dudul: "10?"
*little birdie flies by..... This convo happened at 9:30 AM.
Little Missy and I (looked at the clock and in sync turned and faced him): "Last night?"
Dudul: "Yes"
Me: (face saying you are an idiot)
Little Missy: "You consider last night this morning?"
Dudul: (laughing like he is not an idiot and it is a completely normal mistake that anyone normal makes) I haven't had my coffee guys.
Me (straight face): I never had coffee in the morning. Everyone in IT never had coffee in the morning *continuing in my mind with "and we work with brain and we don't get dumb in the morning"*
Dudul (excitedly and proudly): "Yeah, but I'm different with you guys! I'm an addict! I need caffeine! I have drunk coffee since I was 4!" -> is that a thing to be proud of??
Me and Little Missy: (speechlessly laughing. I was really really speechless)
Me: (saying in my mind) "Maybe that's why you become so stupid. Too much coffee! Who drinks coffee since he's 4??? You're supposed to drink milk, you stupid!!!"

Seriously if there is any nicorete for coffee addicts, I'm considering shoving it into his mouth! We'll see if he's still this stupid after that -_-"

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